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Blake, Wm. Albion Rose. 1795.

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A 46-year-old tech millionaire passionate about health has revealed he has attained the sperm of an 18-year-old, according to doctors. Bryan Johnson spends $2 million annually on his anti-aging efforts and attributes the changes to dietary and unique therapy protocols.

Johnson’s project, dubbed “rejuvenating Johnson's Johnson,” involves rigorous testing and measurement of his semen quality, alongside monitoring nighttime erections and blood flow. 

As part of his initiative, he wakes up every morning at 5AM, takes two dozen supplements, works out for an hour, drinks green juice laced with creatine and collagen peptides, and brushes and flosses his teeth while rinsing with tea-tree oil and antioxidant gel. Before bedtime, he wears glasses that block blue light for two hours.

At a clinic, a doctor told Johnson: “I saw an 18-year-old with these results I would tell them they're perfectly normal, and you got an A+.”

In addition to his sperm, Johnson also reportedly has the heart of a 37-year-old and the skin of a 28-year-old.